UPI
11-06-2003, 06:58 PM
BREAKING NEWS
In an unprecedented decision, the United States Supreme Court has declared that the Bush Administration is "unconstitutional" and a "very grave danger to the continued existence of the United States of America as a nation". But the Court did not stop there. The justices further decreed that all members of the current administration be stripped of thr US citizenship, and be deported to the Islamic nation of thr choice.
While the announcement of the Court's decision took many in Washington, D.C. by surprise, the Court had actually handed down thr decision several days ago. Only select members of US law enforcement and high-ranking Democratic elected officials were informed of the Courts action at that time. "The secrecy surrounding the Court's decision was necessary to permit law enforcement personnel to accurately locate and prepare for the immediate szure of all current administration officials", a court spokesperson was quoted as saying the Washington Post.
Perhaps the most striking aspect of the Supreme Court's decision was its requirement that scores of "Bush administration mouth pieces", in various US media outlets, be arrested and immediately executed. When questioned about the constitutionality of the imposition of an immediate death sentence, without benefit of trial or even an indictment, ultra-conservative US Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia replied through his clerk, "I have been told that I'm out of touch, but these clowns, OY! The make me look like the former President, in his drinking and coke snorting days!"
Among the neo-conservative media members arrested and executed, were radio personalities Rush Limbaugh and Don Imus, conservative pundit Ann Coulter, columnist George Will, internet gadfly Matt Drudge, former Whitehouse spokesman Ari Flscher, and FOX News' Bill O'Rielly. Upon hearing the announcement, the ACLU demanded that the Court show some compassion. Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist agreed and ordered that the bodies of the executed be donated to shelters to feed the homeless. The USDA immediately responded by declaring that Rush Limbaugh's flesh contained more drugs than a Philadelphia crack house, and deemed his body unfit for human consumption.
One US Marine who was present at Ann Coulter's execution had this to say when interviewed afterward by Reuters, "We all believed that Ms. Coulter was an air head. We had no idea that there was actually a vacuum between her ears. I mean, when my buddy nailed her with that headshot, her friggin' head imploded! It really imploded! Like when you drop a television tube from the roof of a three-story building. They never told us we would see sh%t like THAT in basic training!"
Vice President Dick Cheney, so often in hiding, was unable to be detained. An anonymous source at the NSA told CNN that the Agency had remotely shut down Cheney's pacemaker, when it was learned that he could not be found. Asked how the NSA could be sure that Cheney would turn up, one NSA technician said, "Well, we might not find him for a week or two, but he ought to be smelling pretty bad by then. Somebody has got to notice the stench."
As the US carrier Theodore Roosevelt steamed toward the Middle , carrying hundreds of expatriated Bush administration personnel, the US Navy reported that George Bush thought that he was going to be making a carrier takeoff to attend a political fundraising event. "He kept running onto the flight deck, flapping his arms and yelling GEORGIE FLY FLY NOW. ZOOOOM.... ZOOOOM...", stated Petty Officer 3rd Class, Melvin Hymen. "It was kinda sad ya know. Mrs. Bush kept shaking her head and muttering about how she should have married that boy in the deli department at the El Paso Winn Dixie. Yeah, at l the guy at the deli counter can add and subtract I said. We all started laughing then. Even Mrs. Bush started laughing too", Hymen said.
In an unprecedented decision, the United States Supreme Court has declared that the Bush Administration is "unconstitutional" and a "very grave danger to the continued existence of the United States of America as a nation". But the Court did not stop there. The justices further decreed that all members of the current administration be stripped of thr US citizenship, and be deported to the Islamic nation of thr choice.
While the announcement of the Court's decision took many in Washington, D.C. by surprise, the Court had actually handed down thr decision several days ago. Only select members of US law enforcement and high-ranking Democratic elected officials were informed of the Courts action at that time. "The secrecy surrounding the Court's decision was necessary to permit law enforcement personnel to accurately locate and prepare for the immediate szure of all current administration officials", a court spokesperson was quoted as saying the Washington Post.
Perhaps the most striking aspect of the Supreme Court's decision was its requirement that scores of "Bush administration mouth pieces", in various US media outlets, be arrested and immediately executed. When questioned about the constitutionality of the imposition of an immediate death sentence, without benefit of trial or even an indictment, ultra-conservative US Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia replied through his clerk, "I have been told that I'm out of touch, but these clowns, OY! The make me look like the former President, in his drinking and coke snorting days!"
Among the neo-conservative media members arrested and executed, were radio personalities Rush Limbaugh and Don Imus, conservative pundit Ann Coulter, columnist George Will, internet gadfly Matt Drudge, former Whitehouse spokesman Ari Flscher, and FOX News' Bill O'Rielly. Upon hearing the announcement, the ACLU demanded that the Court show some compassion. Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist agreed and ordered that the bodies of the executed be donated to shelters to feed the homeless. The USDA immediately responded by declaring that Rush Limbaugh's flesh contained more drugs than a Philadelphia crack house, and deemed his body unfit for human consumption.
One US Marine who was present at Ann Coulter's execution had this to say when interviewed afterward by Reuters, "We all believed that Ms. Coulter was an air head. We had no idea that there was actually a vacuum between her ears. I mean, when my buddy nailed her with that headshot, her friggin' head imploded! It really imploded! Like when you drop a television tube from the roof of a three-story building. They never told us we would see sh%t like THAT in basic training!"
Vice President Dick Cheney, so often in hiding, was unable to be detained. An anonymous source at the NSA told CNN that the Agency had remotely shut down Cheney's pacemaker, when it was learned that he could not be found. Asked how the NSA could be sure that Cheney would turn up, one NSA technician said, "Well, we might not find him for a week or two, but he ought to be smelling pretty bad by then. Somebody has got to notice the stench."
As the US carrier Theodore Roosevelt steamed toward the Middle , carrying hundreds of expatriated Bush administration personnel, the US Navy reported that George Bush thought that he was going to be making a carrier takeoff to attend a political fundraising event. "He kept running onto the flight deck, flapping his arms and yelling GEORGIE FLY FLY NOW. ZOOOOM.... ZOOOOM...", stated Petty Officer 3rd Class, Melvin Hymen. "It was kinda sad ya know. Mrs. Bush kept shaking her head and muttering about how she should have married that boy in the deli department at the El Paso Winn Dixie. Yeah, at l the guy at the deli counter can add and subtract I said. We all started laughing then. Even Mrs. Bush started laughing too", Hymen said.