Episode I, the Scamming Menace

[GeorgeMucas]

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…



Episode I

The Scamming Menace



Turmoil has engulfed the Town of Islip. The discovery of pornographic holograms on Lord Waldron’s office computer has the outlying star systems in dispute.



Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of power, the Town Board has terminated Lord Waldron.



While the Department of Public Safety debates this alarming chain of events, two Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice, infiltrate the branches of the town board to monitor the outcome…



Chapter One



Qui Gon and Obi Wan approached the building with trepidation. They had been here before, but they knew that the two viceroys, Nute Charlie and Rune Chief, were attempting to spread the dark side. The Jedi Knights knew that it was a sensitive situation. Qui and Obi had their hands full with trying to restore balance to The Force.



“I have a bad feeling about this,” Obi Wan said to Qui Gon as they pressed the button to the third floor in the elevator.



“I know not what you mean,” Qui Gon replied. “Yes, there is a great disturbance in the force, but balance will be restored soon.”



“Yes, Master,” Obi Wan replied.



The doors of the elevator opened with a swish and the two Jedi Knights stepped into the hallway. Their heavy footsteps echoed on the linoleum as they made their way to the droid sitting behind the desk.



“How may I be of service to you?” she asked.



“We are here to speak with Viceroys Chief and Charlie,” Qui Gon replied. “We are ambassadors from the Teamsters Republic, and we would like to welcome them to our building.”



“Very well,” the droid answered. She pressed a button on the intercom. “Viceroy? Ambassadors from the Republic are here to speak with you.”



“Have them wait in the conference room,” came the reply from the box.



“Very well.” The droid rose and approached the two Jedi Knights. “Follow me, please.” She led them down another hallway and seated them at a conference table. “Viceroy Chief and Viceroy Charlie will be in shortly.



***



Minutes turned into hours as the Jedis waited for the Viceroys to appear. “I do have a bad feeling about this, Master,” Obi Wan warned. “Does it usually take this long for them to make an appearance?”



“I know not, Obi Wan,” Qui Gon replied. “I must agree that this is indeed a strange situation.”



***

Viceroy Chief and Viceroy Gallo watched the two waiting ambassadors on closed circuit television. “I think we have kept them waiting long enough,” Viceroy Gallo said. “Let us go and see what they want from us.”



“They want a treaty,” Viceroy Chief answered. “They want to ensure that we are not going to harm them, nor any other employee in this department.”



The intercom buzzed. “Viceroy? The Jedis have been waiting for over two hours,” the droid said. “I just wanted to remind you that they are waiting in the conference room.



“Jedi?” Viceroy Charlie looked to Viceroy Chief with a hint of panic.



“Yes, Viceroy. I thought you were aware of that.” Viceroy Charlie snapped off the intercom.



“What are we supposed to do? The Jedi are very powerful!”



“Send a droid,” Viceroy Chief replied.



***

[too much time]

you need a job

[ObiWanKenobi]

That is the FUNNIEST thing I have EVER read!! More!!! I need more!!!! Who ever wrote this is a genius!!!!!

[danielandrews]

Obi your probation officer called your no longer allowed to use computers and internet. In other news its time to get a job!

[CuttySark]

Classic!

[GeorgeMucas]

“I smell fear, Master,” Obi Wan said to Qui Gon.



“Yes,” Qui Gon agreed. “Something is amiss in the Department of Public Safety. I do not think the Teamsters are going to get the treaty that they are looking for.”



Suddenly, the door opened and in walked the female droid that was at the desk, carrying a tray with whiskey. “A peace offering,” the droid said as she rested the whiskey on the table. “The viceroys will be in shortly.”



“Thank you,” the Jedi Knights replied. They listened to the metallic footsteps as the droid left the room, the door closing behind her. Qui Gon took the bottle of whiskey and looked at the label.



“Well, this certainly is interesting,” Qui Gon said.



“Oh?”



“Yes, Obi Wan. What does this label say?” Qui Gon handed the dark bottle of amber liquid to his young apprentice.



“Molly Malone Irish Whiskey,” Obi Wan read. Clarity washed over his face. “Emperor McGoon.”



“My thoughts exactly,” Qui Gon answered. “But, it may mean nothing at all. The Emperor has many ventures throughout the galaxy.”



“He seems to wet his beak in everything,” Obi Wan muttered.



“Shh!” Qui Gon jumped up, drawing his light saber. Obi Wan followed his lead. “Do you hear that?”



A low hissing filled the room. The two Jedi Knights noticed the green smoke being pumped through the vents.



“Chloroform!” Obi Wan exclaimed.



“So much for our treaty,” Qui Gon answered. The two took a deep breath and waited.



***



“They must be dead by now,” Viceroy Nute said after several minutes had passes.



“Send in the droids,” Viceroy Rune said into the intercom. He turned to his partner in crime. “Well, Charlie, it looks as though we don’t have to worry about those two anymore. We’ll just tell the Teamsters that they never arrived.”



“Sounds good to me, Chief.”



***

The droids stood in front of the door, aiming their proton blasters at it. The door slid open and smoke poured out. Nothing.



“They’re dead,” the droid chief said. The other droids holstered their weapons.



“Now!” came the voice from inside the smoke-filled room. All the droids could see were the two, green light sabers flashing as Obi Wan and Qui Gon attacked their captors. Shrapnel flew as the Jedis demolished the small army of droids. The droids hadn’t a chance. They didn’t even have time to draw their weapons.



The Jedi Knights made their way to the shuttle bay and leapt into their cruiser. “R2, set a course for the inner sanctum. It’s time we tell our fellow Jedis what is going on,” Qui Gon said. R2 beeped a few things in return, set the course, and they were off.



It would not be their last encounter with Viceroys Nute and Rune.

[ve ri tas]

Brilliant, riveting a must read, once again George Mucas delivers a masterpiece. Mcgooniacs not very bright,and without a sense of humor

[GeorgeMucas]

-CHAPTER TWO-



In the lavishly-furnished conference room of Town Hall, the Governing Council had assembled at last. Queen Greenidala sat on her throne, watching them. The crisis with the Town of Islip had brought committee members from every department to show their support of their steadfast queen.



Greenidala smiled and folded her fingers carefully together in her lap. The threats of the Town Board lingered in her mind, but she wouldn’t let them bully her into doing their bidding. After all, she was a queen. Royalty does not take orders from anyone.



The large view screen lit up, showing the over-bearing Public Safety viceroy, Rune Chief. “Again you come before me, your highness,” he said. “The Town of Islip is pleased.”



Greenidala stiffened. His words were civil, but his tome was condescending. “You will not be so pleased when you hear what I have to say, Viceroy,” she said in a cold, flat tone. “The blockade of power has ended.”



The man’s weathered face twisted into a smirk. “I am not aware of such a failure,” he replied.



“Enough of this pretense, Viceroy!” Queen Greenidala shouted, slamming her fist onto the conference table. She felt a stir of approval from the councilmen around her and went on. “I know that the Chancellor’s ambassadors are with you to work out a treaty—“



“I know nothing of any ambassadors,” the viceroy oozed. “Surely, you are mistaken.”



Greenidala leaned back into her chair and pressed her fingers together. She should have expected things to head south. He was, after all, a former Soldier from Gotham and wore that fact like a badge. He thought Islip was his town now, or so it seemed. The Chancellor would not be pleased. “Beware, viceroy,” she warned. “The Town Board is going too far this time.”



“Your Highness, we would never do anything without the approval of The Committee,” Chief replied earnestly. “You assume too much.”



“We will see.” Greenidala signaled to end the transmission.



As the screen went black, various discussions arose betwixt the members of the Governing Council. Greenidala looked over to her strongest ally. “Governor Bodkin! Contact Senator Maybelline at once.” Maybelline was in charge of the treaty negotiations. If things had changed in Islip, if the ambassadors had not been sent after all, Maybelline would surely know the reason.



But when they reached Senator Maybelline a few moments later, he seemed as bewildered by the viceroy’s assertations as everyone else was.



“How can this be true?” he asked. “I have assurance from—“ The communication holograph flickered, then lost all sound.



“Senator Maybelline!” Greenidala said urgently. She needed his advice and his experience. She had to know what was going on.



The hologram sputtered and died completely.



“What is happening?” she asked, panicked.



“A malfunction in the transmission generators?” Governor Bodkin suggested.”



“It could be Lord McGoon jamming us, Your Highness,” Captain Ferujari said.



“But, that can only mean one thing!” Governor Bodkin exclaimed. “An invasion!”



Greenidala’s heart sank. “The Town Board would not go that far,” she said.



Captain Ferujari nodded. “If they invaded us, the State would destroy the town lines,” he pointed out.



“We must continue to rely on negotiation.” She said firmly.



“Negotiation?” Ferujari asked incredulously. “How can we negotiate? We’ve lost all communications! And where are the Chancellor’s ambassadors?”



Greenidala had no answers for him.

***

[Shut up George]

Just fix the leaks.....................

Charlotte

MAY THE 4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4- [report] BE WITH YOU

[ve ri tas]

I'am waiting for the next installment, anxiousley awaiting!

MAY THE xxxxxxx [report] BE WITH YOU

Whats up with this censorship. The quote was from the Mel Brooks movie SPACEBALLS which, like the post here, was a parody of Star Wars.

There was no FORCE. There was only the 4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-. As in may the 4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4- be with you. If this is anti-semitic talk to Mel Brooks.

C'mon 4-4-4-4-4-.

unbelievable